Ahh, July. By all accounts, it’s certainly one of the best months of the year. We’ve got fireworks, barbecues, boats, and it doesn’t get dark until 9:00. This is all fine and good, but there is a huge downside to all this – both of the major sports that Americans actually care about are in their offseason, and we’re stuck watching Versus to see if they have any sweet fishing blooper shows airing that night. So what can we do to get our sports fix in such a dull period? This will hopefully serve as a helpful guide to help you get through the dark ages.

Baseball – Do you live in Boston, NYC, or Chicago? Then chances are you’re probably already a die hard fan that doesn’t need me to nudge you in the right direction. If you don’t, then you’d probably be hard pressed to name more than two guys in the starting rotation. Baseball is an intriguing sport because fan satisfaction is directly proportional to fan investment. If you follow your team day in and day out and know all of the player personalities and trends, it is an incredibly rewarding game. If you’re like me and you look to baseball as a stopgap during the dull summer months, you have no context for enjoying the game and it really just facilitates napping. To be fair, if you can make it out to a ballgame – MLB or the minors – they’re fantastic on a nice day. Just don’t expect to know the intricacies of what’s going on.
Pros: Only major league sport, great live atmosphere
Cons: It’s July baseball. Who cares anyway? Get back to me in October.

Golf – It’s a polarizing sport to be sure and the learning curve is pretty tough as a fan, but the majors provide some great entertainment. Even as a casual sports fan, watching the final round of last year’s U.S. Open was enthralling. If you’re a golfer, it helps you appreciate the good shots even more.
Pros: The majors provide some great drama, it’s on all day so you can drink and grill
Cons: Majors are only on four times per year, Possibilities for a clunker (Oh, Zach Johnson is up by 14 shots? What else is on?)

NASCAR – Don’t laugh. Go to a race. If you immerse yourself in the race environment (which is to say, sweat, Coors, and sunscreen), it’s a great time. You can smell the tires, hear the roar of the engines, and listen to drivers talk mad shit to each other over the headphones. Not to mention the wrecks are sweet and these guys get into fistfights in the pits.
Pros: Awesome live experience. Don’t knock it til you try it.
Cons: Do NOT watch it on TV, unless you’re trying to take a nap. There’s no point.

X Games – Makes for some cool highlights, but I would guess that 99% of the population has no idea what’s going on most of the time.
Pros: Highlights, possibilities for grotesque accidents
Cons: “720 ollie kickflip stiffy!” Uh, what?

NBA Summer league – As a proclaimed NBA junkie, these are insanely entertaining to me, but it’s a total niche thing. Don’t watch it unless you’re a huge NBA fan. The announcers are hilarious also.
Pros: Adam Morrison sometimes leads the game in scoring
Cons: Adam Morrison sometimes leads the game in scoring

Olympics – Is it an election year? No? You’re shit out of luck then. Even if it is an Olympics year, NBC has bastardized the coverage to the point that you get about 30 minutes of sports coverage in a typical 3-hour programming block. But basketball, track and field, and the occasional phenom (fine, Phelps was entertaining as hell even if everyone was sick of him) are entertaining as hell.
Pros: Get to watch Angola try to field a team against LBJ, DWade and Howard.
Cons: Every four years, and you see more of Bob Costas’ mug than actual sports action.

Soccer – I maintain that World Cup years are absurdly fun, even if you don’t know much about the game or the players. Even this year, I’ve had a great time watching the Confederations Cup, UEFA finals, and to a lesser extent even the Gold Cup. Soccer is totally an acquired taste, but it’s a fun sport to watch in groups of die hard fans.
Pros: Very fun to follow, World Cup years are awesome
Cons: It’s still fucking soccer. I’d rather have my eyes gouged out than watch an MLS game, and I’ve never played the game so I have no basis for what’s going on half the time.

Conclusion – If it’s an Olympics or World Cup year, you’re all set. If not, you’re going to probably have to scrape the bottom of the barrel for some sort of sports entertainment. NBA free agency is fun and the draft is still pretty fresh in people’s minds. At the very worst case, NFL preseason games are only a month away, and going to your local NFL team’s training camp is usually a fun day trip. Pickings are slim in July, though. Go to a barbecue or something.

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